loss

Shattered beyond repair

I’m tired.  So tired. So, so very tired. I pray that I will have the “wherewith-all” (that is SUCH a strange word) to clearly convey the subterraneous depths of despair that I am currently and for some time been dwelling in. Right now I don’t think that I do. This probably isn’t “professional.” It’s probably …

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Treading Land, Water, Sky, Life, Loss

Like the amphibian Too much time on land fatigues me Depletes me of life-sustaining nutrients Sucks me dry And sends me on a desperate retreat Back to the waters Where I can submerge myself In what is familiar Fluid, quiet, safe. I can somnambulate beneath the surface Removed from land’s sounds, sights, smells I can …

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What NOT To Say To Someone Who Has Experienced A Miscarriage

What NOT To Say To Someone Who Has Experienced A Miscarriage “It wasn’t meant to be.” “Well, at least they weren’t even BORN yet, so you didn’t really know them.” “That’s why a lot of people wait until the first trimester is past to announce a pregnancy.” “God knows what He’s doing.” “At least you …

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A birth day; a death day. D@mn, my life sucks.

Today is the day my oldest son (AKA my Liberian prince AKA my little man AKA Human GPS) turns sixteen years old. Sixteen years old. The shy, chubby faced little boy who entered our family several years ago has blossomed into a young man. He’s taller than me. His voice has changed into a deep …

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meadow, chamomile, flowers

Gone too soon: Missing Sandy, Channing, Gene, Charles, Sharon, and Uncle

There’s been too much death lately.  The hashtags and the “Pray for ______________” slogans have all began to run together in my head. Another bombing, stabbing, shooting…and more lost lives. While the rest of us mourn for a few days/weeks and then resume our lives as they were before the latest tragedy, some people’s lives …

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earth desert dry hot

When the words dry up

I can speak. Loudly. Boldly. Even eloquently. Always quickly. Often peppered with examples or stories Or with seemingly endless questions. Words can flow out of my mouth with relative ease It seems. That’s what they all think. That’s what they all say. That’s what they all believe. I know better, though. It’s an illusion. Because …

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modern art

Art imitates life or life imitates art?

A werewolf. A vampire. A ghost.  A witch. A zombie. All mythical beings frequently found in literature and cinema, Inducing fear and/or awe for centuries. Not human, but existing both in and parallel to the human world. Not human, but intertwined with the human world. Not human, but who truly is? Do humans not embody …

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mystical, austria, landscapes

Tomorrow draws near

Please God, keep my babies with me. Please God, keep my babies with me. Please God, don’t let them take my kids. I’ll do anything, anything. Just let me keep my kids. My kids. My kids. Please God. Don’t let them. Please don’t let them take my kids. Please. Please. Please don’t let them take …

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So…that sucked.

Hi everyone. It happened. It was horrible. And it’s going to happen again, soon (date not yet confirmed).  It was NOT what I expected; it was WORSE.  I have a headache from endless crying, but I think I needed to get it out. I was sad. Now I’m mad. I’m mad because the truth is …

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thank you heart text

Heartfelt thanks & slight update

Dearest friends, (I hope you all don’t mind a blog post as an update.  I know it’s not the same as responding to people individually, but it’s all I am able to manage right now. I hope you can all “feel” my heart through my words.) When I tentatively rejoined/reconnected with the “real world” today …

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