owning your mistakes

Matrix corridor scene (three figures standing at the end of a long hallway; everything in sight is black with green binary code like the "view" of a computer)

Leaving the Matrix

I was recently part of a coalition that issued an Open Letter (penned by Cal Montgomery and I) and a follow up Memo (which had several co-authors, including many who opted to remain anonymous). The purpose of the Open Letter and the Memo was to make positive changes within the autistic community (and in this …

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Don’t even know what to title this

I don’t know what I’m going to write right now; it’s all jumbled up in my head. But I just know I need to write. I haven’t written for what feels like eons…I need to write. Forgive me if this ends up being an incoherent rambling mess. It probably will be. But maybe that’s okay, …

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No fate but that we make…questions about the way forward

(Note: although I “published” this post on my blog in September 2017, I actually began drafting the first part of it a few months ago…sharing that detail in case any parts of the post seem “dated.”) When I was a little girl I liked the “Terminator” movies. (And I liked the Rocky movies, and I …

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Second chances? Hell to the naw!

I’m one of those people who fail to respect their own boundaries. The type that falls prey to wishful thinking, to hopefulness, to forgiving too easily. I advise others not to do this, but I struggle to internalize this concept in my own life. So while I am not a big fan of “Do as …

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When Love Hurts: A Story of Surviving Abuse

Content warning: post mentions physical abuse, emotional abuse, infidelity, emotional anguish, dysfunctional marriage, miscarriage, substance use, mention of suicidal ideation, divorce, faith Once upon a time there was a 14 year old girl. She met a boy her age, and they connected. And on and off for the next 13 years, more on than off, …

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Don’t Be Like Me: A Letter to My Daughters

The best piece of advice I have for my daughters? Don’t be like me. Many people look up to their parents; even want to be like them. I’m your mother. I know you love me. You admire me. In some ways you are already somewhat like me. I know you aren’t going to understand me. …

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The Ableist = Me: an apology

I screwed up yesterday. I gave a presentation in front of hundreds of people last night, along with several of my colleagues. It mostly went pretty well. I was informative. I was candid. I was witty.  And I was ableist. I say this because I am a huge proponent of growing and changing. Learning how …

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I Lied to Them

I lied to them. Over two years ago when we finally brought them home, after all those years of bureaucracy and fighting to make it happen. They were finally home. Home. I wrapped my arms around them and told them this was their home. Their mom. Their dad. Their siblings. They’d never have to leave; …

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