scars from the present

No fate but that we make…questions about the way forward

(Note: although I “published” this post on my blog in September 2017, I actually began drafting the first part of it a few months ago…sharing that detail in case any parts of the post seem “dated.”) When I was a little girl I liked the “Terminator” movies. (And I liked the Rocky movies, and I …

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Second chances? Hell to the naw!

I’m one of those people who fail to respect their own boundaries. The type that falls prey to wishful thinking, to hopefulness, to forgiving too easily. I advise others not to do this, but I struggle to internalize this concept in my own life. So while I am not a big fan of “Do as …

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Treading Land, Water, Sky, Life, Loss

Like the amphibian Too much time on land fatigues me Depletes me of life-sustaining nutrients Sucks me dry And sends me on a desperate retreat Back to the waters Where I can submerge myself In what is familiar Fluid, quiet, safe. I can somnambulate beneath the surface Removed from land’s sounds, sights, smells I can …

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What NOT To Say To Someone Who Has Experienced A Miscarriage

What NOT To Say To Someone Who Has Experienced A Miscarriage “It wasn’t meant to be.” “Well, at least they weren’t even BORN yet, so you didn’t really know them.” “That’s why a lot of people wait until the first trimester is past to announce a pregnancy.” “God knows what He’s doing.” “At least you …

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A birth day; a death day. D@mn, my life sucks.

Today is the day my oldest son (AKA my Liberian prince AKA my little man AKA Human GPS) turns sixteen years old. Sixteen years old. The shy, chubby faced little boy who entered our family several years ago has blossomed into a young man. He’s taller than me. His voice has changed into a deep …

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earth desert dry hot

When the words dry up

I can speak. Loudly. Boldly. Even eloquently. Always quickly. Often peppered with examples or stories Or with seemingly endless questions. Words can flow out of my mouth with relative ease It seems. That’s what they all think. That’s what they all say. That’s what they all believe. I know better, though. It’s an illusion. Because …

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modern art

Art imitates life or life imitates art?

A werewolf. A vampire. A ghost.  A witch. A zombie. All mythical beings frequently found in literature and cinema, Inducing fear and/or awe for centuries. Not human, but existing both in and parallel to the human world. Not human, but intertwined with the human world. Not human, but who truly is? Do humans not embody …

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Gratitude/Update (#NoGroupHome)

Not too long ago, I sent out a desperate plea for help. My family was (is) faced with one of the most difficult situations we’d ever encountered, and we did not have the means to handle it alone. (Many of you might be familiar with the situation; but for those who are not, this link will …

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To my sons

To my sons My beloved sons Your smiles are etched into my mind, my soul, my heart. Your laughter is my favorite song. Fierce, feral, deep love for you courses through my veins Beats in my chest Fills my lungs. My precious sons If only you could know how much you are loved How much …

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So…that sucked.

Hi everyone. It happened. It was horrible. And it’s going to happen again, soon (date not yet confirmed).  It was NOT what I expected; it was WORSE.  I have a headache from endless crying, but I think I needed to get it out. I was sad. Now I’m mad. I’m mad because the truth is …

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