scars from the present

Matrix corridor scene (three figures standing at the end of a long hallway; everything in sight is black with green binary code like the "view" of a computer)

Leaving the Matrix

I was recently part of a coalition that issued an Open Letter (penned by Cal Montgomery and I) and a follow up Memo (which had several co-authors, including many who opted to remain anonymous). The purpose of the Open Letter and the Memo was to make positive changes within the autistic community (and in this …

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"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." -MLK

The “silence of our ‘friends’” hurts my ears

What did MLK say exactly? Something like, “…in the end, what hurts the most is not the harmful words spoken by our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” I’m sure I completely botched the quote and truthfully right now Idgaf; this isn’t speech and rhetoric class. This is “real” “life” in 2020 America for …

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Don’t even know what to title this

I don’t know what I’m going to write right now; it’s all jumbled up in my head. But I just know I need to write. I haven’t written for what feels like eons…I need to write. Forgive me if this ends up being an incoherent rambling mess. It probably will be. But maybe that’s okay, …

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Submerged in quicksand (depression)

When I was a little kid my brothers and I were really fascinated by science. We devoured old copies of National Geographic magazine and various documentaries on the Discovery Channel. We pestered our mother to identify the organs and bones that were visible in the food (i.e. chicken, beef, fish) she was preparing. We examined …

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No fate but that we make…questions about the way forward

(Note: although I “published” this post on my blog in September 2017, I actually began drafting the first part of it a few months ago…sharing that detail in case any parts of the post seem “dated.”) When I was a little girl I liked the “Terminator” movies. (And I liked the Rocky movies, and I …

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Second chances? Hell to the naw!

I’m one of those people who fail to respect their own boundaries. The type that falls prey to wishful thinking, to hopefulness, to forgiving too easily. I advise others not to do this, but I struggle to internalize this concept in my own life. So while I am not a big fan of “Do as …

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Treading Land, Water, Sky, Life, Loss

Like the amphibian Too much time on land fatigues me Depletes me of life-sustaining nutrients Sucks me dry And sends me on a desperate retreat Back to the waters Where I can submerge myself In what is familiar Fluid, quiet, safe. I can somnambulate beneath the surface Removed from land’s sounds, sights, smells I can …

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What NOT To Say To Someone Who Has Experienced A Miscarriage

What NOT To Say To Someone Who Has Experienced A Miscarriage “It wasn’t meant to be.” “Well, at least they weren’t even BORN yet, so you didn’t really know them.” “That’s why a lot of people wait until the first trimester is past to announce a pregnancy.” “God knows what He’s doing.” “At least you …

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A birth day; a death day. D@mn, my life sucks.

Today is the day my oldest son (AKA my Liberian prince AKA my little man AKA Human GPS) turns sixteen years old. Sixteen years old. The shy, chubby faced little boy who entered our family several years ago has blossomed into a young man. He’s taller than me. His voice has changed into a deep …

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earth desert dry hot

When the words dry up

I can speak. Loudly. Boldly. Even eloquently. Always quickly. Often peppered with examples or stories Or with seemingly endless questions. Words can flow out of my mouth with relative ease It seems. That’s what they all think. That’s what they all say. That’s what they all believe. I know better, though. It’s an illusion. Because …

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