self-awareness

Submerged in quicksand (depression)

When I was a little kid my brothers and I were really fascinated by science. We devoured old copies of National Geographic magazine and various documentaries on the Discovery Channel. We pestered our mother to identify the organs and bones that were visible in the food (i.e. chicken, beef, fish) she was preparing. We examined …

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No fate but that we make…questions about the way forward

(Note: although I “published” this post on my blog in September 2017, I actually began drafting the first part of it a few months ago…sharing that detail in case any parts of the post seem “dated.”) When I was a little girl I liked the “Terminator” movies. (And I liked the Rocky movies, and I …

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Second chances? Hell to the naw!

I’m one of those people who fail to respect their own boundaries. The type that falls prey to wishful thinking, to hopefulness, to forgiving too easily. I advise others not to do this, but I struggle to internalize this concept in my own life. So while I am not a big fan of “Do as …

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Love is NOT enough: choose you

I used to have a pair of earrings that I absolutely loved. These earrings were perfect. They were casual enough for everyday wear yet elegant enough for special occasions. They were long enough for me to be able to feel their “swish, swish” sound when I moved my head, but not too long. They were …

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Accentuating the Positive

Life can be extremely unpredictable, especially mine. At times, particularly when I’m overwhelmed or experiencing intense challenges, it can be hard to focus on anything other than the current storm. I think that’s a natural part of the human psyche – at least for me. And though it is likely to be uncomfortable to do, …

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When Love Hurts: A Story of Surviving Abuse

Content warning: post mentions physical abuse, emotional abuse, infidelity, emotional anguish, dysfunctional marriage, miscarriage, substance use, mention of suicidal ideation, divorce, faith Once upon a time there was a 14 year old girl. She met a boy her age, and they connected. And on and off for the next 13 years, more on than off, …

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Black text on white background that states: "I just need a break from life." Source unknown.

Maybe a break? Maybe not?

Weird title, I know… So if you’ve followed my blog for a while you probably know that writing is my therapy. I write when I’m happy. I write when I’m upset. I write to make sense of things. I write even when things don’t make sense… Right now, a lot of things in my life, and about …

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Don’t Be Like Me: A Letter to My Daughters

The best piece of advice I have for my daughters? Don’t be like me. Many people look up to their parents; even want to be like them. I’m your mother. I know you love me. You admire me. In some ways you are already somewhat like me. I know you aren’t going to understand me. …

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I’m Nobody’s Token

“You’re not really supposed to be here,” she said. I was at the sink in the girls’ restroom washing my hands when the words shot out from behind me. I heard the words. I knew what they meant, but I didn’t know what they were supposed to mean. I turned around slowly, a little confused, …

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Love Letter to Reading/Writing

You were my first love. And I’m still hopelessly in love with you. Truly, madly, deeply. I remember how you were there for me when I was young. When I couldn’t always get the right words to form when I was speaking you helped me to express myself. When I didn’t understand what others were …

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