What NOT To Say To Someone Who Has Experienced A Miscarriage
“It wasn’t meant to be.”
“Well, at least they weren’t even BORN yet, so you didn’t really know them.”
“That’s why a lot of people wait until the first trimester is past to announce a pregnancy.”
“God knows what He’s doing.”
“At least you still have your other kids!”
“You know you can try again.”
“Maybe if you lose some weight you might have a better chance at carrying a pregnancy to term.”
“Heaven must have needed another little angel.”
“A miscarriage isn’t the same as a real death. I lost my (choose one depending upon the speaker) son/daughter/spouse/parent/sibling in (insert date here), and that really hurt me. But I got through it, and so can you.”
What TO say/do?
Let them know you’re there for them. If they want to talk, you’re there; if they don’t want to talk, you understand.
Avoid platitudes and cliches.
Acknowledge their pain rather than minimizing it.
Give them time if they need it.